Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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