I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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