I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
