in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
