sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
