it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
