and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
