if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
