Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize