oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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