Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I checked into jail on foursquare
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
