His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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