Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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