Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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