Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
