I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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