Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
where am i from again
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
