Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
