ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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