just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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