every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We need a shit load of segways right now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize