Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Im part way to drunk.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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