Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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