why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
