Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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