This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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