Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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