i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
