They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
