I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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