I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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