i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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