don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
