He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
