Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
