I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
