apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
