I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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