I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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