So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
