So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Screwed.edu
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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