I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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