I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
