Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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