He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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