no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
