i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
