Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We don't watch enough power rangers
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
