yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
