Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
