She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
