You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
