you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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