And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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