I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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