Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
